New Poll

Ok, Bertha and I are not getting along. At.ALL. She basically ruins my life. She's annoying and irritable and she blurts out things that shouldn't be said outloud.
I hope anyone who is forced to interact with me can be patient, and overlook ALOT for the next 5 months.
For those of who live far away from me-count yourselves blessed. And if you call, be prepared. Because...

Bertha is a beast.

I know some people really seem to like her. My kids love that they get McDonald's fries and Dairy Queen ice cream a lot more. Lots of people love her because when they're having a really bad day or feeling inadequate, all they have to do is look at Bertha and they feel better about themselves. And I'm sure there's even some people who like annoying people who say things they shouldn't and are lazier than all get out. But some people, like me, can't stand her.

So, I decided to do a new poll. I got tired of looking at my "Should Sara have a fence?" poll, especially since we still don't have a fence.

I want the skinny. Your opinion. How do you feel about Bertha???

Be honest. Any answer you put will make Bertha mad, no matter what. So don't worry about offending her-You will.

:-)

Bertha's School

Bertha's version of home school:



It's best to get Math done first thing in the morning while their minds are fresh. So right after breakfast......


"Ok! Everyone pick up 20 pieces of food. Ready...Set....Go!"


(I know you're doing the math....3 X 20 = 60 pieces of FOOD!!!!!! Yes, it's possible, and there's still ample left for the vacuum.)

This activity can also count for P.E. since they are doing so much crouching and bending.


Great, now that math is done for the day....


Spelling

If child asks for treat right after breakfast...


"N-O! That spells No. Everyone with me...N-O!"


Of course, Bertha will promptly have her 8 am treat.

"Y-E-S! That spells Yes! treats for Mom."



Handwriting


Each child writes 3-10 times (depending on age),


"I will not tease my brother/sister."


or "My mother is the best woman in the world." depending on what kind of correction is needed.



Science


Have them inspect the dead flies as they clean the windows in their bedrooms.


History

Read the Bible story about Ananias and Sapphira who are struck down dead when they lie.
(Acts 5:1-11)

Try to encourage a strong, healthy fear of lying.


Well, that's a day!


What a wonderful feeling to know that today the children have been well-educated, each subject has been thoroughly explored, and in the comfort and love of their own home!


And it's only 9:30 in the morning!


That leaves lots of time for Bertha to lie on the couch reading like the lazy bum that she is. Too bad chocolate makes her want to puke. :-(
That's all that's missing.

Sara says, "If the school district calls, I'm going to tell them exactly what kind of teacher Mrs. Bertha is. These children are suffering because of her ridiculous ideas of what education should be!!!!"

Unfortunately, Sara is locked up, hands bound, mind fogged, and willpower extinguished for another 6 months.

(Evil cackling in the background......)