To know the difference...

Wow. It has been FOR-EV-ER since I've posted. So I'm not even going to attempt to catch you all up because frankly, it gives me chest pains to think of doing it. :-)

Besides, tonight I'm writing with some thoughts. Happy thoughts? Mmmm maybe not. I don't know.

(Remember when I said I started this blog so I could talk to myself in a more socially-acceptable way? Yeah, you can stop reading NOW if you want.)

Tonight I'm feeling spent. Frustrated. Bewildered. I'm feeling the heavy load like this guy...

...except with fewer muscles and a lot more clothes. :-)

I'm sure you don't want the details...But, what it boils down to is this: the heartwrenching feeling that I've worked so hard on something and the results are not what I've hoped for. Has this ever happened to you?

I guess that sounds really lame. Of course that's happened to all of us!

But what I'm thinking of is more along the lines of this: you've done what's been asked of you, always tried your best, and put your heart into something and PLOP.BLAH. nothing.

I guess I've always believed that if you work hard, you can accomplish your goals. And any problems or roadblocks are just more challenges (aka learning experiences) to overcome. This is a positive attitude, right?

But, lately I've been thinking maybe some problems aren't always there to overcome. Maybe they are to be endured, learned from, but not necessarily overcome.

At a recent church meeting, a counselor in our area leadership said,

"God doesn't judge us on results. He judges us on our efforts."

It hit me like a ton of bricks.

Yes, that still, small voice can feel like a ton of bricks sometimes.

I realized that my problem is that I focus on results too much. I realized that sometimes you have to put forth the effort JUST BECAUSE. Because it's the right thing to do; because it's what God has asked; because you can't give up.

I've been running around like a chicken with my head cut off lately thinking, "There must be something I can do differently...There must be something MORE I can do...There must be another solution...If this isn't working, there must be a better way."

And sometimes (probably a lot of times) that IS the answer. But, tonight I'm thinking maybe that is not the case for me right now. After all, there are times in the scriptures when God did all he could and because He's given us freedom to choose, the "results" were not what he would have wanted. So who am I to have my pants in a wad because I'm experiencing this feeling?

Right now I'm realizing that my answer is not a different method or a better way, but just continual effort with a determination not to give up.

My favorite verse from my favorite hymn, "How Firm a Foundation":

That soul, that on Jesus hath leaned for repose,

I will not, I cannot desert to his foes!

That soul, though all hell should endeavor to shake,

I'll never, no never

I'll never, no never

I'll never, no never, no NEVER forsake!

Isn't that great? I love it.

And this poem comes to mind:

The Serenity Prayer

by Reinhold Neibuhr

God grant that I might have

The courage to change the things I can,

The serenity to accept the things I cannot,

And the wisdom to know the difference.

Sigh...I'm feeling better. Isn't talking to yourself grand?

Maybe next time I post it won't be so serious and melancholy.

Whenever that will be...

5 more months maybe. :-)

Hoodies!

It all began one beautiful spring day when my Mom came home from the store with a jacket that she got for a killer $5. A gray hoodie. That's when it started-my love affair with hoodies.

I mean, they are the best! They are cozy and comfortable. They cover baby bumps or stains on your shirt. They are perfect for fall or spring or any time you just need a little added warmth. And they have a HOOD which is almost the same thing as an accessory.

Who doesn't love hoodies?!

But, even good things can be taken too far.

APPARENTLY, I wear hoodies too much. We (my hubbie and I) had this revelation last Christmas. Or maybe he's known for a long time and has been too nice to say...

I had decided that a formal winter coat would be a good thing for me. You know those cute little pea coats? I guess I was getting tired of wearing hoodies to church.

So, we went shopping and I could not be satisfied. I looked weird or too old or just NOT ME in all these coats I tried on. Finally I verbalized my frustrations and Sam said, "Do you know why you don't like any of these coats? Because your style is....HOODIES! That's all you wear, you know."

It hit me like a bombshell. Is.it.really?

Then, I thought...and realized....yes. It is true.

Now I am taking fashion tips from my husband. Sigh.

AAAnd I didn't really take any action.

Not much changed.

Then we pulled out old family videos one night. The lamest one is an old VHS with little clips of me conducting music for my Conducting Class in college. Little clips from 5 or 6 different days during the semester. I kid you not-every single clip had me wearing a hoodie!!

I felt properly chastened.

Then, I started looking at old photos....

Hoodie (with a hole in it)

Hoodie while sewing!

Hoodie on 5th anniversary!

Black hoodie on Birthday...(please excuse the scary face)

Brown hoodie in Canada...

HOODIE!!

So, I am appalled. Not that I ever thought of myself as a fashion guru or anything. I'm too cheap for that. But, this????? It's a little embarrassing.

So, I'm going to make a painful change. But, it will be slow going. It will be hard to give these babies up. Not that I'll give them up completely since they are still the most comfy cozy piece of clothing ever! But, maybe I'll just wear them less..

Anyway, I know you ALL wanted to know this.

Oh-and there's a new poll to go with this post so Go Vote!

OBSESSION

My latest obsession:

• Leafy greens
• with Craisins
• and peeled, chopped orange slices
• and slivered almonds
• and....

THIS! There is something magical about this stuff. Y'all should try it.

WEEK 4

WE DID IT!!!

We finished the month at last!!!

During our last week we tried to get through our cans of grapefruit. Horrible stuff. We'd each put our allotment into our mouths, flex our muscles, and try not to scream. Don't buy this stuff. Actually after a few cans, I almost liked it.

So, January 31 we went to Olive Garden to celebrate. (Courtesy of our lovely credit card rewards) Can I just say Olive Garden salad is the best?!

Then, we went to a grocery store!
Here I am at the brocolli. My husband pleaded with me not to post these pictures to the public. But, really-wouldn't your face look like this if you hadn't seen brocolli for a whole month? I mean-COME ON-who's gonna judge? Plus, anyone who reads this already knows how weird I am.

Our cart only half way through the produce section. Life is good!!!

You know, there's nothing like going without something to appreciate it more. Sam thinks we should do this lil' experiment every year. I'm thinking I would be OK with that. Maybe...

WEEK THREE

Enduring....

WEEK TWO

Happenings from WEEK TWO:

• Sam made a slammin' good pie tonight with reconstituted dried apples, craisins, and a yummy crumb topping. Mmm. MMmm. goodness.

• My dear brother and his wife sent fruit leather and lots of snacks and ingredients for microwaved smores. We have enjoyed these!

• We've had Shepherd's Pie with canned vegs, the fake potatoes, and freeze-dried cheese.

• We've had 7 light bulbs burn out since we started our experiment. I guess I never really thought of light bulbs for home storage. Lesson Learned!

• Last night a family invited us to dinner. Sam and I were giddy with glee, anticipating eating fresh food! They totally delivered. Cucumbers-it's been too long!

What we ran out of this week:

• potatoes

• cough drops :-( and yes, we've needed them this week)

• cheddar cheese

• light bulbs

What we've learned this week:

• Freeze-dried peaches are disgusting. There is just no way around it. We've had multiple brands, and yuck-o to all of them.

• Freeze-dried apples and strawberries are delish.

• Freeze-dried, grated cheese is surprisingly wonderful. It even melts. I could eat handfuls. Think of that crispy cheese that gets grilled to the pan when you make grilled-cheese sandwiches. Yum.

• Powdered milk tastes like chalk dust...Oh wait. I already knew that. Fortunately, the kids haven't even flinched about chugging it.

• A batch of powdered milk with a few tablespoons of cream added makes it so much better. And actually, I like the Kiss of Cream brand, but it is more pricey than the kind we get from the Cannery.

Well, that's week 2!

Lastly, I did enter a store to cash a money order my daughter got from school. WOW! It's amazing what 2 weeks away from any grocery store can do. I was just blown away by all the variety and I salivated on the oranges. But, it's also reset my thinking about what we really NEED from the store, and what we can live without.

OH, and really LASTLY, I forgot that Sam came up with a name for our experiment.

SUPERMARKET MORATORIUM

Halfway there!!

WEEK ONE

Thoughts from Week One:

• I really miss green salad.
• I do not miss going to the grocery store.
• In fact, I feel liberated.
• I would love to never have to go to another store again.
• Life is actually simpler this way.
• More freezer space would be nice (we have only the fridge freezer)
• I like having an excuse when my meals are not so yummy. (For surely, with the proper ingredients, this would taste better!;-)

WHAT WE RAN OUT OF THIS WEEK:

milk
Enter powdered milk goodness (or not so goodness). mmmm....
fresh fruit
Enter dried apples. These actually are yummy.

eggs.

I used the last few eggs wisely. I made brownies :-) and cut them into bite-sized pieces and froze them for the long weeks ahead. We do have egg powder for pancakes or other things.

BREAD!

Oh my-we've been baking and baking bread like crazy. It is a wonderful perk to have yummy homemade bread all the time. After all, if you don't have a lot of food around, you can always make bread and have something to eat.

We've made white bread, multi-grain bread, whole wheat bread, english muffin bread, and sweet cinnamon bread. I have enjoyed this. While I don't like cooking, I do like to bake.

Oh-and the calendar ran out. So, I figured I'd just draw some lines on a 12 x 12 piece of paper and glue it onto the "old" January. I will enjoy my scenic pictures of Italy all over again!

(I might do this every year.)

And last but not least: baby food.

This I am REAlly going to miss. Sure, I can make my own from our meals, but that always takes more forethought and time. And when you're already confined by fewer ingredients, it's even harder. Fortunately Jack is getting old enough for more textures than just pureed.

I have to say I am enjoying this challenge....so far.

And I am looking forward to eating that green salad again.

Until next week!....

New Years Experiment

So, we're doing an experiment. We are not going to the grocery store for the whole month of January. Not going to any store actually. We are stocked up on diapers and such. The thing I'll miss is fresh fruits and vegetables. (I know...this isn't super healthy, but it's just one month, right?)
When we first talked about doing this experiment, I anticipated getting a bunch of fresh food to hold us over the first week or two. Alas, Jan 1 was the day we drove all day from visiting family to arrive home late at night. No stocking up. We had one apple left.
But that makes it much more exciting, right? Stocking up would have kind of been cheating.
So of course I've decided to document it, hoping that will motivate me not to wimp out before Day 10.
Why are we doing this? We want to put our food storage to the test. Find out what we'd miss and thereafter stock up on that. We also want to save money for a month now that my Hubbie is making a career change. (That's sounds better than jobless doesn't it?)

So, Day ONE:
Guess what happens? My curling iron breaks while I'm getting ready for church!
People-I really need this piece of equipment. You see, I can't DO wavy. Only one chunk of my hair goes wavy and the rest is kinky or stick straight. It's a horrible look; let me tell ya. And my vanity won't let me blow-dry it straight cuz I just don't feel finished.
Here's the villainous iron:

Really, what is up with Revlon? Have you noticed how their heating elements just go kaput after not long enough?
Anyway, I went to church and received wonderful news!!
Two friends said they each had an iron the same barrel size they don't use that I could have. Yay!
Another piece of good news: One of these friends said that they know of a sectional someone is planning on getting rid of and WOuld I be interested in it?
WOULD I!!!!!?

These beauties have done us well for almost a decade. And before that, they did other family members well, for-I don't know-maybe 25 years. But, they are really done. I think my friend suggested the new sectional because she had to sit in my couch last time we hosted Playgroup. Yeah-IN my couch. One cushion sinks down about 2 feet when you sit on it.

Anyway, I will keep posting about our adventures, obstacles, temptations, etc. relating to our 1 month experiment. Maybe I should come up with a catchy name for it? Anyone?