Newton's Laws

Newton's Laws of Motion
for Pregnancy

1. An object at rest will remain at rest unless acted on by an unbalanced force.

This is demonstrated when you roll over in bed and the baby doesn't move with you. Ouch!

2. The greater the mass (of the object being accelerated) the greater the amount of force needed (to accelerate the object).


OH! That's why my friend asked me if I had just ran to the phone when I answered totally out of breath. (I had walked 3 steps to get to the phone.)

3. For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. That is to say that whenever an object pushes another object it gets pushed back in the opposite direction equally hard.

This is what I like to call bladder kickball.

There you go.
Newton's laws apply to everything!!
Or maybe everything applies to pregnancy...

HUGE

*********WARNING!!!**********

This is another pregnancy post. If you're sick of hearing me complain...don't read on..

So, I'm huge.
I know it's true because I am a pretty observant person. Yessiree.
Here's my list of

Clues:

1. I outgrew all my maternity clothes a month ago (and those clothes were huge)

2. The scale seems to tell me that I've gained 50 pounds, and I've still got 2 more months to go. I would say it's lying, but when I suggest this to the midwives they just nod their heads and scribble something in their folder. I don't think they believe me.

3. I've been measuring 3-6 weeks too big for the last month and a half.

4. I knock into people with my belly when trying to maneuver through the crowded hallway after church every Sunday.

5. It is painful to stand at the kitchen sink, but my arms are too short to scrub the dishes properly unless the counter presses into my belly a couple of inches.

6. My belly pushes my legs out 45 degrees whenever I sit down or walk up stairs.

7. If I sit too long, my legs fall asleep because my belly cuts off their circulation

So, it doesn't take a Sherlock Holmes to ascertain that I AM HUGE>

But, fortunately, mercifully, thankfully-JUST IN CASE!!!
I have people around me to remind me how HUGE I am.

Like the stranger at Fred Meyer who was staring at my belly for so long that even my daughter noticed and said, "Mom! That lady was staring at your belly! Isn't that....rude??"

Ok-maybe I'm paranoid. I guess she could have been counting my kids 1, 2, 3, 4...and seen my belly ...5! Maybe that's why she was staring.

Or the person at church who says (without fail, every Sunday) REALLY Loud, "WHOA. You sure are big. When are you due?????!!!!"
Maybe I should just write MARCH 17 on my forehead before venturing out of my home.

Or the other stranger at Fred Meyer who said, "Any day now, huh?!" when they saw me waddling next to them. I should've just told them "Actually, I'm 2 weeks overdue!"

Or the people who ask if I'm having twins when I've told them repeatedly, "nope, just one baby in there!"

Aren't I lucky to have these people around me??? JUST IN CASE I forget.
............................................................
Ok-I feel guilty for being so sarcastic. I haven't quite locked Bertha in the closet, yet.

So, I'll finish by saying THANK YOU! to all my sweet friends and family who DO NOT remind me how huge I am.

Like my awesome sister-in-law who saw me at Christmas and said she thought I was due in MAY!!!!!

Such love...

And just because I know you're dying to see...
Here's a picture:

Me in a black shirt.

Insight

I love it when you get a glimpse into your child's mind.

For instance, today I was grading Olivia's logic work from this morning.
She's just finished a section on analogies.
You know...hot is to cold as rough is to _______.
So, today she got to make up her own analogies to wrap up the section.

The last one on the page gave me insight into her perspective. :-)

It was this: Teacher is to student ______________________-and she was supposed to make up the rest.

Olivia's completed analogy: Teacher is to student as master is to slave.
Hmmm....
Guess it's clear how she views things.:-)