Bertha is BACK!

Who is Bertha? Well, obviously the woman pictured above is Bertha. Who is she?



I don't know.



I just googled "Bertha insane" and this is the first image that popped up, so there you go.



But, she's back!!!!!!!!



Bertha is back, and it's Bertha's fault that I haven't blogged in a long time.



It's Bertha's fault that I didn't shower until 1 pm today.



It's Bertha's fault that I eat McDonald's way too much!



Oh yeah, I never explained who Bertha is.



Well, if any of you all have read the captivating classic, Jane Eyre, you know about the crazy lady in the attic. But unless you've read Wide Sargasso Sea, the prequel written over 100 years after Jane Eyre, you don't know that crazy Bertha was not always crazy Bertha, but started out as lovely Antoinette.

Ok, sorry to bore you.

Bertha is nothing more than my adopted name for myself when I am pregnant, with child, "in that way".

Yes, so there's the news.

Bertha is Back!

And why am I Bertha when I'm pregnant?

Because from conception to birth, this fog takes over my brain and transforms all my normally charming personality traits:-) into weird, awkward, irritable, not so desirable traits. :-(

I'm telling you I am not myself!

I know, I know! Pregnant women are supposed to be glowing and exuberant with the new life in them. Kudos to the women who are. Because, in my book, pregnancy is a necessary evil, an unpleasant means to a glorious end. And hey-according to the scriptures, it's not meant to be a holiday picnic, so I'm not totally off my rocker.

Am I choosing to blame all my unfriendliness and laziness on this non-existent Bertha?

You better believe it.

After all, I am pregnant. I deserve McDonalds when I want it. I don't have to shower if I don't want to. I can eat cold cereal all day if I want to. I can have bad grammar if I want to.

(See what I mean??? This entitlement attitude is not Sara! It's Bertha!)

So, basically -watch out. Cuz, Bertha's Back. It ain't gonna be pretty. But, sometime around the middle of March, it will be over.

Yes, there is a deadline to the madness.

So, now that you've been properly warned....

Keep LIVIN' THE DREAM!

By the way, can anyone explain to me why McDonald's doesn't start it's lunch menu until 11am? I mean, come on! Can't they give a pregnant lady a cheeseburger at 10:30 in the morning if she wants one?????

Maybe I should call 911 and complain.

Better yet, I'll have Bertha do it.