So, another nightmare is keeping me awake with disturbed feelings. Apparently, it's normal.
Don't you love how they call a lot of weird and unpleasant things "normal" during pregnancy? Nausea, hands tingling, horrible nightmares, headaches, depression, leg cramps at night, hating to eat what you usually love, and loving what you usually hate, and all you get is, "Oh-that's normal"
I knew I never liked being normal. I much prefer being weird.
Ok-but I need to stop! Because I'm blogging tonight to be POSITIVE.
To get my disturbed nightmare out of mind by listing some of " my FAV-o-rite things".
So here goes:
fast food
thigh high nylons when I'm pregnant
When I'm in the dairy/meat aisle of the grocery store, throw in a package of hot dogs, and Olivia yells to her brother 15 feet away (and thus all other customers in the dairy/meat aisle) "Mom's being lazy again!!! She just put hot dogs in the cart!"
fast food
When my kids know it's Friday (our day off) and they sigh, "I wish we were doing school today."
When my husband gets home from work, ask the kids what they learned in school today, and they say, "nothing."
fast food
Fries dipped in Dairy Queen ice cream
fast food
online Christmas shopping
When my husband gets home from work, asks me how my day was, and my face crumples up like a little girl who's been trying not to cry all day because someone hurt her feelings, and my husband quickly says, "I'll make dinner."
Sigh. Gotta love that guy.
When the guy at church who (every single time I get pregnant) asks me "You do know how that happens, right?" (as if being pregnant is a mistake), miraculously doesn't ask me this time.
Maybe it's because last pregnancy when he said that, I gave him a Bertha look and one of those fake "a ha" laughs.
Obviously, Bertha doesn't have a very good sense of humor.
any food I don't have to make
When I make it all the way to October before I do my annual "lock the keys in my car" routine and wait 2 hours for the tow truck guy to unlock my van. Tell my husband to get me a car-breaker-inner thing for Christmas. PLEEEASSEE!
fast food
When an apostle of God says that his kids used to say "Stop touching me!" and "He's breathing my air!!!" during scripture reading. There is hope, people! There is hope!
Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens
thigh high nylons when I'm pregnant
When I'm in the dairy/meat aisle of the grocery store, throw in a package of hot dogs, and Olivia yells to her brother 15 feet away (and thus all other customers in the dairy/meat aisle) "Mom's being lazy again!!! She just put hot dogs in the cart!"
fast food
When my kids know it's Friday (our day off) and they sigh, "I wish we were doing school today."
When my husband gets home from work, ask the kids what they learned in school today, and they say, "nothing."
fast food
Fries dipped in Dairy Queen ice cream
fast food
online Christmas shopping
When my husband gets home from work, asks me how my day was, and my face crumples up like a little girl who's been trying not to cry all day because someone hurt her feelings, and my husband quickly says, "I'll make dinner."
Sigh. Gotta love that guy.
When the guy at church who (every single time I get pregnant) asks me "You do know how that happens, right?" (as if being pregnant is a mistake), miraculously doesn't ask me this time.
Maybe it's because last pregnancy when he said that, I gave him a Bertha look and one of those fake "a ha" laughs.
Obviously, Bertha doesn't have a very good sense of humor.
any food I don't have to make
When I make it all the way to October before I do my annual "lock the keys in my car" routine and wait 2 hours for the tow truck guy to unlock my van. Tell my husband to get me a car-breaker-inner thing for Christmas. PLEEEASSEE!
fast food
When an apostle of God says that his kids used to say "Stop touching me!" and "He's breathing my air!!!" during scripture reading. There is hope, people! There is hope!
Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens
"And then I don't feeeeeeel so Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad!"
Ok, so maybe this list would be better titled "Favorite Moments".
And I realize a lot of them were sarcastic. Sorry. That's Bertha. Or Sara on hormones.
And well....she's trying.
I am sincere about the fast food! and the thigh highs!
I feel much better now, don't you?
Guess I'll go back to sleep.
You are so funny! I love reading your blog even with Bertha breaking through. I am so there with the fries and ice cream. But I did it at Burger King. I was in heaven!
ReplyDeleteA guy at church as the nerve to say you know how you get pregant?!!!!! Let me at him!!!
He will, of course, remain anonymous:-)
ReplyDeleteYou posted that at 3 in the morning!! Poor girl. The anonymous guy still has a few more months to say it, I wouldn't say you're out of the woods yet. My kids learn "nothing" in school also. :) Loved your blog!!
ReplyDeleteSara! You are so hilarious. I think that you should take Bertha on the road. Unfortunately, that means that you would have to be perpetually pregnant! I wish that I only love Fast food while I am pregnant! It is a daily craving for me when I'm not pregnant!!
ReplyDelete